Name your insecurities yourself, on paper. It’s a lot harder for anyone to sell them back to you.

An insecurity you have named yourself is much harder to use against you. While it stays vague it can be poked at from any direction, and someone else can describe it back to you in their own terms and sell you the remedy. Once you have written the plain version, you already know what it is and you are no longer learning it from them.

Write yours down in ordinary language, without softening. Keep the list private. Reading your own version first makes every later attempt to name it for you much less persuasive.