Letting go of a grudge doesn’t change the past. It just stops it from taking your future too.

Forgiving is not a statement about what happened. What was done stays done, and letting go of the grudge does not make it acceptable, excuse anyone or require you to see the person again. The only thing it changes is how much of your present the past gets to occupy.

You do not have to feel warmly toward anyone to stop rehearsing the argument in your head. Notice when the scene starts replaying and put your attention on something in front of you. It comes back, and each time it takes a little less of the day with it.