Funerals are full of “I wish I had said.” Say it at the birthday party instead.

The reason things go unsaid is rarely that people do not feel them. It is embarrassment, and a quiet assumption that a better moment is coming, and the two together can hold one sentence in place for a lifetime. Grief gets heavier when it has to carry the words that never moved.

Use an ordinary celebration as the excuse, since there is usually one coming. Say the real thing in the middle of the noise, where it is less exposing. Short and slightly clumsy is completely fine.