Sibling rivalry is fun until you realize you two are the only ones who know what growing up in that house was like.

Competition between siblings runs on the assumption that approval at home is in limited supply. What it obscures is what you share: a set of rooms, a particular atmosphere, a version of your parents nobody else can ever confirm for you. That shared record grows more valuable as everyone else’s memory of your childhood thins.

Step out of the scoreboard where you can. Ask them what they remember about something you both lived through, and listen to how different their version is. Only a very small number of people can do that with you.