Exciting is the person who keeps you guessing. Right is the person who keeps showing up.

Uncertainty produces a feeling that is easy to mistake for chemistry. Not knowing where you stand keeps your attention fixed on someone, and the relief when they reappear registers as intensity, which is why calm people can seem boring by comparison. What you are feeling in that case is the fluctuation, not the person.

Notice whether you feel more settled or more alert around someone. Ask which one you actually want to live inside for years, because that is the real question. Steadiness is not the absence of feeling; it is what lets the feeling be about them rather than the suspense.