If their name pops up on your phone and your first thought is “what do they need now,” pay attention to that thought.

Your first reaction to seeing someone’s name is a summary of the whole relationship, arrived at before you can tidy it up. If the reflex is wariness rather than warmth, that is a record of every previous exchange, and it is more honest than whatever you would say about the friendship out loud. The thought is information, not disloyalty.

Do not act on it immediately, but do not dismiss it either. Look at the last five conversations and notice what proportion were requests. Then decide what you want to keep offering, which might be less than before without being nothing.