Inconsistent people aren’t confusing. They’re telling you something, just in a language you don’t want to hear.

Confusion is often a way of postponing a conclusion. The behavior itself is usually legible, since someone who appears and disappears is showing you the size of the place you occupy in their life. Calling it mysterious keeps hope alive and keeps you available. What feels like a puzzle is mostly an answer you have not accepted.

Write down what you would say to a friend who described this exact pattern to you. Then treat that advice as applying to you as well. You can care about someone and still stop arranging your week around their moods.