Hot-and-cold isn’t mysterious. It’s a leash with slack in it.

Warmth followed by withdrawal is not a mixed message, it is a method, whether or not the person knows they are using it. The unpredictability is what keeps you attentive, because you are always working toward the next warm stretch. Anyone who has waited by a phone knows how well that works. Steadiness would end the pattern, which is why it never arrives.

Judge someone by their average rather than by their best hour. Notice how much of your week goes into predicting a mood. Give your attention to people whose warmth does not have to be chased.