Make a list of who came to your birthday. Then a list of who came when things fell apart. Keep the second list.

Attendance sorts itself out when things go wrong. Celebrations are easy and pleasant and draw a crowd, so a guest list mostly tells you about your social range. A hard stretch is inconvenient for everyone and offers nothing back, so whoever arrives anyway has made a decision. That is a much shorter and far more accurate list.

Bring to mind whoever turned up when it was grim and thank them properly. Give those people your time first. When someone you know is in the hard part, make sure you are on their second list.