Sarcasm is truth that’s too scared to walk in the front door.

Sarcasm lets you say a true thing without owning it. The joke provides an exit, so if the other person reacts you can point out that you were only kidding, which means the message gets delivered with none of the risk. Everyone involved understands what actually happened. The sting lands and the conversation you needed does not.

When you catch yourself making that kind of joke, work out what the real sentence underneath it is. Say that plainly, once, when you are calm. If it feels too hard to say straight, that is usually a sign it matters.