Grade yourself with the same red pen you use on everyone else.

Most people run two standards at once without ever noticing the switch. Other people’s failures look like character and your own look like circumstance, which is not hypocrisy so much as the difference between watching from outside and living from inside. The trouble is that only one of those standards gets applied to the person you can actually change.

Next time you are sharp about somebody in your head, keep the sentence and swap the name. See whether it still holds. If it does, you have found something useful, and you found it without anyone having to tell you.