Somebody out there tells their friends about you as a warning. Worth asking why.

Everyone has a version of themselves in circulation they would dispute, assembled out of somebody’s worst hour with them. Some of those accounts are unfair. A few are not, and the only way to tell is to look without immediately reaching for your own side of the story. Curiosity costs far less here than defensiveness does.

Think of a relationship that ended badly and try describing it from their chair, as fairly as you can manage. You are not agreeing to their conclusion. You are checking whether any part is accurate, because that part is the only one you can do anything about.