You can mistake being needed for being loved when usefulness has always been how you earned belonging.

If belonging always had to be earned by being helpful, then being needed and being loved become the same experience, and it is very hard to tell them apart later. You will find yourself indispensable to people and still unsure whether anyone would want you around if you had nothing to offer. The doubt is not paranoia; it is the natural result of never having tested it.

Try being present with someone without contributing anything. No fixing, no organizing, no advice. Notice whether you can tolerate it. What you learn in that discomfort is more informative than any amount of reassurance.