Being pushed hard by a coach who believes in you feels a lot like being picked on. Ask which one it is.

From inside, high expectations and hostility produce nearly the same sensation: more criticism, more attention, less praise than other people get. The difference lies in what the pressure is aimed at. One is trying to make you better and will tell you how; the other has no interest in your improvement and no instructions attached. You cannot always feel the difference, but you can test for it.

Look at whether the hard words come with a specific fix. If they do, that is coaching, even when it lands badly. If there is never a fix, only the criticism, raise it with a parent or another adult you trust.