A bad call, a bad bounce, a bad ref: some losses come from outside. Grieve them, then go back to what you control.

Some losses genuinely are not yours. A deflection, a call, a draw you did not pick: these are real, they decide real outcomes, and pretending otherwise is just a different sort of dishonesty. The trap is moving in and living there, because the one thing an outside cause guarantees is that no amount of thinking about it changes anything.

Let yourself be properly annoyed for a fixed stretch, maybe the drive home. Then write down the two things in that game that were yours and work on those. If you catch yourself retelling the bad call a week later, that is the signal to stop.