Being pushed hard isn’t the same as being broken down. Know which one your coach, boss or parent is doing.

Both can feel awful in the moment, so the feeling is not what tells them apart. Pushing is aimed at what you do, arrives with information about how to improve, and leaves you more capable than it found you. Breaking down goes at who you are, offers nothing usable, and makes you smaller over time. The difference sits in the content and the direction, not the volume.

Listen to the next hard thing said to you and ask whether it names an action or a person. Actions are coaching. If it is mostly about you as a person, and it keeps happening, tell an adult you trust.