You can want to be the best and still be kind to the people you’re competing against.

Competing hard and treating people well are not on the same dial. Somewhere along the way people pick up the idea that fierceness has to come with coldness, and it does not. The strongest competitors in most rooms are also the ones who fix your form and clap when you go first. Kindness costs you nothing in the result and gives you a sport worth staying in.

At your next match, audition or test, do one decent thing for a rival. Wish them well and mean it, or pass on something you worked out. Then compete at full strength and watch the two refuse to cancel out.