What you reward today may become tomorrow’s complaint.

Whatever gets rewarded gets repeated, including things you did not mean to encourage. Praise the person who works weekends and you will get weekend work. Answer the loudest request first and requests get louder. The complaint you make next year is often written by what you reinforced this year.

Look at what actually earns approval, attention, or relief in the systems you influence, including your own household. Not what you say you value, what you respond to. That is the real instruction being given.