A good conversation is a game of catch. If you’re holding the ball the whole time, it’s a speech.

Conversation runs on handoffs. When one person keeps talking, the other stops being a participant and becomes an audience, and audiences disengage quietly rather than interrupting. Holding on usually is not selfishness, it is nerves, because filling the silence feels safer than risking one. But the thing that makes people enjoy talking to you is getting a turn.

Notice who has said more in your next long conversation. If it was you, finish your next answer with a question instead of another story. If it was them, offer something of your own instead of only asking.