You can disagree and still say “good point.” It costs nothing and makes your next point land.

GRATITUDE

WHAT THIS MEANS

Granting that something is true does not weaken your position, it proves you have been listening rather than waiting. People defend hardest when they suspect nothing is getting through, and one acknowledgment turns that dial down. Once somebody is not braced, they can actually hear what comes next. Disagreement works far better when it is clear you are not trying to erase them.

In your next argument, find the one part of what they said that is genuinely right and say so out loud before you answer. Then make your point without hanging a “but” off the credit. Watch the temperature move.

A QUESTION TO SIT WITH

When did you last credit someone you were arguing against?

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