“That’s not what I meant” can be true and still not fix what they heard.

Intention and effect are two separate facts, and defending the first does nothing about the second. Once something has landed badly, the person is dealing with what reached them, and hearing that it was not meant that way can feel like being told their reaction was a mistake. Both things can be true at once: you did not intend it, and it hurt anyway.

After explaining what you meant, ask what came across, then speak to that. Say the thing you actually intended in different words. Clear up what landed before you defend where it started.