“You always” starts a fight. “This time I felt” starts a conversation.

Always turns one incident into a verdict about character, and nobody can answer a verdict except by hunting for the exception, which is how an argument becomes a search through history rather than a conversation about tonight. Describing one moment and your own reaction leaves nothing to disprove, since your experience is not up for debate. The complaint survives intact and the fight does not start.

Before the next complaint, cut it down to one occasion and one feeling. Say what happened and how it landed. Then stop and let them answer, rather than adding the three earlier examples.