In an argument, repeat their point back before you answer it. If you can’t, you weren’t arguing with them.

Before you answer a point you have to be able to say it. If you cannot put their argument in your own words well enough that they would nod, then what you have been arguing with is your guess about them, which is a far easier opponent. Most disagreements that go in circles are two people answering their own inventions.

Try it out loud in the next real argument: say what you think they are claiming and ask whether that is right. Let them correct it before you reply. Half the time the disagreement shrinks, and the rest of the time you are finally arguing about the same thing.