When feedback stings, say “Tell me more” before you defend yourself. You’ll learn a lot more.

Feedback that stings arrives at the moment you are least able to use it. Defending yourself feels urgent, because what you want first is for them to know you are not careless, and the cost is that the useful half never gets said. Asking for more buys you the whole picture while you still have access to it.

Use the short version next time, before any explanation, and ask them to keep going. Write it down, thank them, and leave the defending for later or for never. You can decide afterward how much of it you agree with.