The new kid who introduces themselves first gets to pick the friend instead of waiting to be picked.

Waiting puts the decision in other people’s hands, and they are mostly busy with their own routines rather than deciding about you. Going first costs a few awkward seconds and turns you into the person choosing, which means you can aim at somebody who seems interesting rather than taking whoever arrives. It also reads as confidence even when you have none.

Pick one person this week and open with your name and one question. Go for somebody slightly outside the obvious group, since they are usually more available. If it is flat, that is one conversation, and nothing about it stops you trying somebody else tomorrow.