Choosing to forgive someone who hurt you is a risk. You might get hurt again. You also might get free.
RESILIENCE
WHAT THIS MEANS
Forgiving is not deciding it was acceptable, or that you must let them back in. It is a choice to stop spending your attention on the ledger, and it carries real risk, because the person may do it again and you would have nowhere to retreat to. What it gives back is the part of your head the resentment was occupying.
There is no schedule for this, and nobody gets to tell you when you are ready. If you are considering it, you can forgive and still keep distance, since those are separate decisions. And if you are not ready, that is not a failure of character.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Who could you forgive if you were willing to risk it?
MORE IN COURAGE & RISK
- Standing up at a memorial to share a story while your voice wobbles is one of the hardest, kindest things people do.
- Jumping off the high dive won’t make you brave forever. It just proves you were once, and that’s useful evidence.
- Raising concerns about a project you’re excited about takes guts. It also saves the project.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.