“That hurt me” are three of the scariest words to text a friend. They’re also how real friendships get repaired.

Those words are hard because they hand somebody power and admit you cared enough to be hurt. The usual alternative is quieter: you pull back a little, reply slower, and the friendship thins out without anybody naming why. More friendships end that way than end in arguments. Saying it is the only move that gives the other person a chance to repair something.

Keep it to what happened rather than what it proves about them. One specific moment, how it landed, nothing about their character. Send it when you are calm rather than when it stings most.