Someone who needs constant displays of control may be least secure in possessing it.

Frequent demonstrations of control usually indicate doubt about having it. Someone confident in their standing does not need to keep proving it, so the displays, the reminders of who decides, the small enforcements over nothing, are often anxiety expressing itself as authority.

When you feel the urge to assert yourself over something trivial, pause and ask what feels threatened. And when someone does it to you, it may help to see the insecurity underneath, which makes the behaviour easier to handle without matching it.