Standing up for someone who’s being picked on costs you something. That’s how you know it counts.

Support that costs nothing is easy to give and easy to doubt. When you step in, you spend something real: a bit of your standing, the ease of being liked by everyone, sometimes a friendship. That price is also the proof, both to the person you helped and to yourself, that it was not a performance. Things that cost nothing rarely change anything.

Accept the bill before you decide, so the cost cannot surprise you and talk you back out of it. Work out which friendships you are actually willing to risk. Then do the small version today rather than waiting for a moment big enough to deserve you.