Constant strain can make calm feel undeserved.

Live under pressure long enough and ease becomes uncomfortable. A quiet evening produces guilt, rest feels like something being got away with, and the constant readiness that was once a response to circumstances becomes the baseline you defend. Calm starts to feel like a failure of seriousness.

If rest makes you uneasy, sit with the unease rather than resolving it by finding a task. It usually passes within an hour or two, and it passes faster each time.