You graduate from the kids’ table the day you start refilling other people’s cups.

Nobody announces the promotion. You move from being looked after to looking after others at the moment you start noticing what the table needs, and it has nothing to do with your age or where you are sitting. Being grown up is mostly this: the attention turns outward and stays there without anyone asking it to. Plenty of adults never make the move.

At the next meal with other people, get up once before you are asked. Refill something, clear something, fetch what somebody is quietly short of. Then sit back down and say nothing about it.