Some childhood rules make sense only after you learn what adults were afraid of.

Some rules that felt arbitrary in childhood were fear in disguise. The strictness about money, the anxiety about certain people, the insistence on certain appearances, all of it made sense inside something you were too young to be told. Understanding the fear does not always make the rule right, but it makes the parent legible. Much of forgiveness starts there.

Pick one rule from your childhood that never made sense and ask what an adult might have been frightened of. You may not be able to confirm the answer. Even so, the question tends to convert resentment into something more accurate.