Being the big sibling sometimes means carrying their stuff and your stuff. Strength looks boring up close.

The older one ends up with a share of the load that nobody wrote down. Watching them, carrying the bag, keeping it together because somebody younger is in the room. From outside it looks like nothing; up close it is a lot of small, unglamorous holding on, and that is what strength mostly is.

Let somebody know what you are actually carrying, because nobody can see it from where they are. Tell a parent one specific thing you need, like an hour off on Sundays. Carrying it does not mean carrying it silently.