When the group’s favorite topic is who you used to be, it’s okay to miss a few hangouts.

Some groups keep a version of you on file and enjoy it more than the current one. Nostalgia is pleasant, and it becomes a problem when every evening reruns the same stories and the same role you were handed at thirteen. Being around that constantly makes changing harder than it needs to be.

Skipping is allowed, and it requires no explanation or falling out. Say you are busy, go to the next one, and see whether anything in the room has moved. Spend some of those freed evenings with people who only know the current you.