If you’d call it cheating when they did it, it’s cheating when you did it.

Most dishonesty lives inside a double standard you never noticed yourself building. The same act gets a harsh name when someone else does it and a gentle one when you do, because from in here you have access to all your reasons. The reasons feel like a meaningful difference. From outside they are invisible.

When something starts to feel like a grey area, swap the names over. Picture the person you compete with doing exactly what you are about to do, and listen for what you would call it. Whichever word arrives first is the honest one, and it usually shows up in about five seconds.