If you’d remind them about money they owe you, remind yourself about money you owe them.

Debts you are owed stay bright in the memory, and debts you owe fade quietly. That is not dishonesty, it is just how attention works: one of them costs you something and the other does not. The result is that almost everybody believes they are the more generous friend, which cannot possibly be true of everybody.

Write down what you owe, however small, and clear the oldest one this week without being asked. Scroll back for the loan you forgot about. The standard you apply to other people’s memory is a fair one to hold yourself to.