Not every friendship requires the same level of access.

There is a tendency to run one setting for everyone, either open with all of them or guarded with all of them. In practice people differ enormously in what they can hold, and matching the depth to the person is not coldness. It is simply accuracy about who has shown what. Different friends can occupy different distances without any of them being lesser.

Sort the people close to you by what you would actually tell them. Notice where you have been sharing above someone’s demonstrated level. Adjusting quietly prevents the disappointment that comes from expecting depth where there is none.