The mirror becomes useful when you stop asking it to show somebody else.

Looking honestly at yourself is different from looking for someone else’s reflection in you, whether that is the person you were told to be, the person you compare yourself to, or the person you wish had shown up. As long as you are checking against another face, you cannot see the one in front of you.

Try a week of asking what you actually think rather than what a certain person would think of you. When you catch a judgment forming, name whose voice it sounds like. Once you can identify the borrowed one, your own becomes much easier to hear.