Feedback stings because it’s touching something real. That’s also why it’s useful.

Criticism that lands has usually found something you already half suspected, which is why the response is a flinch rather than a shrug. Comments about things that are not true of you are easy to dismiss and forgotten within the hour. The sting is a signal about accuracy rather than about cruelty, and the two get confused in the moment.

When feedback stings, write it down and leave it a day before judging it. Then ask which part you had already noticed yourself. Work on that piece and let the rest go.