If it only matters when people are watching, ask whether it matters to you at all.

There is a cheap test for whether something is actually yours. Take the audience away and see what is left of your interest. Some activities survive that easily and some turn out to have been about the reaction all along, which is worth knowing before you build five years around one. No shame in finding out; most people are carrying at least one.

Do something you supposedly love with nobody informed and nothing posted. If you still want to do it next week, it is yours. If it feels pointless unseen, you have learned something useful and cheap.