Once you stop needing to be the funniest, smartest or best-looking one in the room, you get to enjoy the room.

Competing for a title nobody awarded turns a party into a job. While you are tracking whether your joke beat the last one, you are not actually listening to anybody, and the evening passes without you being in it. Dropping the contest is not giving up. It is what frees up the attention you need in order to have a good time.

At the next gathering, give yourself one task: find out something you did not know about two people. Ask, then follow up. You will leave having enjoyed yourself, and oddly enough, people will like you more for it.