Being bad at small talk doesn’t mean you’re bad with people. Some people do better with big talk.
REFLECTION
WHAT THIS MEANS
Small talk is a particular skill, mostly about filling time pleasantly, and being poor at it says nothing about whether you are good company. Plenty of people who stall on weather and weekend plans come alive once a conversation has an actual subject. Different parts of talking are different abilities.
Skip ahead this week. Instead of the opening ritual, ask one real question: what they are into, what they would do with a free year, what they made of the ending. Keep the small talk short rather than trying to be brilliant at it, and get to the part you are good at.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Which conversations drain you and which ones wake you up?
MORE IN MINDSET & IDENTITY
- If you have to become someone else to keep a person, they’re keeping somebody else.
- “Just be yourself” is hard advice when you’re still figuring out who that is. Try things. Notice what feels like home.
- The friend who tells you about the spinach in your teeth is the one who’ll tell you the bigger stuff too.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.