Comparing yourself to your cousin is a family sport. You’re allowed to sit that game out.

Relatives do this without meaning harm, at tables where everyone’s grades, height and plans get laid out side by side like a scoreboard. The trouble starts when you keep running the comparison with nobody in the room, measuring a life you see twice a year against one you live every hour. It is rigged either way, because winning still leaves you anxious.

When the ranking begins, ask your cousin a real question about what they are doing instead of placing yourself against them. Curiosity breaks the scoreboard. Later, check your own progress against your own last year, which is the only fair opponent you have.