The harder you try to fall asleep, the more awake you get. Some things come when you stop grabbing.

Effort helps with most things and actively ruins a few. Sleep, calm, laughing, being good company: these arrive when your attention is elsewhere, and trying harder puts attention straight back onto whether it is working yet. The trying becomes the obstacle. Knowing which category a thing belongs in saves a lot of wasted force.

Tonight, if sleep will not come, give up on it on purpose: get out of bed, do something dull in low light, and go back without a target. During the week, try the same release on a conversation you are overpreparing for. Aim at the task rather than the outcome.