Everyone has an accent except you, according to you. Same goes for blind spots.

You hear yourself as the neutral version of the language and everyone else as a departure from it, which is a convenient trick your ears play. The same trick runs on your character. Whatever you do habitually feels like the default, so the thing people find hardest about you is precisely the part invisible from inside. There is no angle from which you can see it alone.

The only way round it is somebody willing to tell you. Ask one person who likes you and will be honest what you do that is difficult to deal with. Then say thank you and sit with the answer instead of defending it.