You don’t owe anyone an instant reply. A thoughtful answer in an hour beats a dumb one in a second.

Speed of reply has become a kind of manners, and it is not one you actually owe. Pressure to answer immediately produces worse answers, because you respond before you know what you think, and then you spend longer undoing that than a pause would have cost. Most messages are not urgent. They only feel urgent because they are new.

Give yourself an hour on something this week. Read it, put the phone down, and answer once you know what you want to say. If it genuinely cannot wait, send three words promising a proper reply later.