Self-deception is dangerous because the liar knows exactly what you want to hear.

No outside liar has your file. The story you tell yourself is written by someone who knows exactly which fear to soothe, which vanity to flatter, and which detail to leave out so the whole thing holds together. That is what makes it so persuasive and so hard to catch from the inside.

When a conclusion about yourself arrives smoothly and comfortably, treat the smoothness itself as a reason to look again. Say it to one person you trust to be honest. An outside ear catches what a fitted story hides.