Pay attention to the compliments that leave you feeling worse. Those weren’t compliments.
REFLECTION
WHAT THIS MEANS
Praise that leaves you feeling smaller was doing something other than praising. Usually there is a comparison tucked inside it, or an audible surprise that you managed it, and the sting afterwards is accurate even when you cannot explain what caused it. Your reaction is better evidence than the words were.
When a compliment lands badly, do not talk yourself out of the feeling. Note what was actually said and who said it. You can be perfectly polite in the moment and still decline to carry it home with you.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Which compliment left you feeling smaller than before you got it?
MORE IN PERCEPTION & ATTENTION
- Your brain can treat an awkward moment like an emergency. Compare the size of the alarm to the size of the actual risk.
- Look up an old map of your town. A lot of streets that feel permanent used to be fields.
- City lights didn’t delete the Milky Way. They just outshine it. Same with your phone and your own thoughts.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.