You can’t fully know yourself alone. Sometimes a good friend sees your pattern before you do. Ask.

There are things about you that are only visible from outside. You cannot hear your own tone, you cannot see your face mid-argument, and the pattern you repeat stays invisible precisely because you are inside it every single time. Somebody who has watched you through several versions of the same situation holds information you cannot reach alone.

Ask one person who knows you well what they see you do when things get hard. Ask for a behaviour rather than a judgment. Then sit with the answer for a day before you reply to any of it.