You can hold two things that don’t match, like loving your town and needing to leave it. Contradictions are normal.

Contradictions are ordinary and not a sign that you are confused. You can love a place and need to leave it, or be close to somebody and want less of them, and both halves stay true at the same time, because people are not obliged to be consistent. Collapsing it into one feeling usually means suppressing whichever half is less convenient.

If something is pulling you two ways, write both parts as plain statements and leave them side by side. Act on the practical one without pretending the other is gone. You can go and still mean every word about having loved it.